Screaming Infidelities
by VietAngel
Summary: Alec commits the ultimate betrayal. When the woman he loves finds out, will he lose everything that's important to him or will he be able to rebuild their broken relationship? Alec and Asha.
1. Default Chapter

**Title**: **Screaming Infidelities**  
**Author**: VietAngel  
**Pairing**: Asha/Alec  
**Rating**: PG-13, some borderline R moments in the first chapter  
**Disclaimer**: The usual…I don't own these characters…yada, yada, yada.

**Author's Note**: I'm using McDowell as Alec's last name because that's what it says on the Jensen Ross Ackles Unlimited website. This story begins after Borrowed Time (and ignores everything after it) and assumes that Asha didn't fall asleep and they did hook up that night. It has no connection to any other Asha/Alec story I've written.

01/25/04 – I've gone back and corrected some typos (thanks to iluvaqt). I never catch these things until after I read the story 30 times. When you're reading your own writing you often see what you wanted to be there, not what's really there. So if anyone catches any other typos, just let me know.

02/17/04 – I've reloaded the first two chapters to match the format of Chapter 3. Hopefully it's easier to read this way.

* * *

He sat there watching her as she danced. There was something mesmerizing about the way her body moved. She waved to him, calling him over to dance with her…and who was he to turn a lady down? As he reached her she wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed their bodies together as she moved to the beat, and he instinctively let his hands cup her hips. He could see the excitement in her eyes as the next song began to play. It was one of her favorites…some old pre-pulse song by a band called Nine Inch Nails. He struggled to recall the name but finally it came to him. Closer…that's what it was called. He had been so preoccupied with trying to remember the name of the song that he hadn't noticed her turn around.

Her back was to him now, but they were so close that even air would have had a hard time coming between them. She was grinding her ass against his crotch excruciatingly slowly, and in that moment he realized how appropriate the lyrics to that song were. She had a bad habit of making him want to do really dirty things to her…or maybe it was a good habit. His state of arousal seemed to encourage her. She flung one arm behind her head and grabbed the back of his neck. Pulling him forward she flicked her tongue against his cheek and smiled. She was in a good mood, a very good mood, and for a moment he felt bad about having to ruin that. When the song ended they were both flushed and slightly out of breath…they always had that effect on each other.

She made a move to leave the dance floor, but realizing his embarrassing predicament, he hooked an arm around her slender waist and pulled her back against him. Spinning around in his arms to face him, she looked at him as if to ask why he had done that. He looked down, drawing her attention to the tent in his pants, and she smirked devilishly…proud of her handiwork.

"You are an evil woman Mrs. McDowell," he said.

"Yeah, I know," she said with a shrug, "but my mom always told me to finish what I start…so what do you say we head home and I'll take care of that for you?"

"Oh baby, I wish I could, but I promised Sketchy I would hang out with him tonight," he replied. The smile immediately left her face and her expression fell somewhere between sad and pissed off.

"Alec, can't you blow him off? You know this is the first night we've had time to be alone together in a really long time," she replied.

"Asha I'm sorry, I really am, if I had known we'd both be around tonight I would have never told Sketchy I'd go…but I promised him last week," Alec replied.

He hated to do this to her, but it was the only way he could buy himself enough time to get home and set up the surprise he had in store for her.

"Fine, do what you have to do. I'll see you later," she said. Then she walked away without even giving him a goodbye kiss. Yeah, she was definitely pissed off. He watched as she went over to where Max, Logan, and the rest of the S1W were. They were at Crash celebrating a victory over a group of corrupt sector cops, but he had the distinct feeling that Asha didn't feel like celebrating anything anymore. He headed home to start setting up. By the look she had on her face before he left, he knew she wouldn't be too far behind.

* * *

Alec arrived home and immediately began pulling bags out of strange hiding places. He couldn't believe he had actually gotten away with hiding this from her for nearly a week. He began by setting up dozens of scented candles all over the house. They smelled like lavender…her favorite. He lit them all, and then turned his attention to the bathroom. He put more candles all around the bathtub…then ran a bath scented with honey and vanilla bubbles. He also threw some red and white rose petals into the bath, then used to rest to make a trail for her to follow from the front door to the bathroom.

Now all he had left to do was wait. He hadn't done anything this romantic for Asha in a long time. With the way things had been going with them recently, they definitely needed it. It was hard to believe that they had been married for over four years now. Who would have ever though that he would be a father…or a husband for that matter. They had gotten off to a rocky start, but ended up getting married just before their son Gabriel Alexander McDowell was born. Alec smiled as he thought about Gabe. All that thinking about Asha and Gabe caused a wave of guilt to wash over Alec. He was keeping a secret that could change all of their lives forever. Just then he heard Asha's key in the door and ran back to the bathroom to hide.

Asha gasped as she entered the apartment. She had been all prepared to be greeted by an empty home and spend a lonely night in bed, but instead she was greeted by the soft glow of candlelight, her favorite scent, and rose petals. She knew exactly who was behind it and she would kill him tomorrow for tricking her…but tonight, she was just going to sit back and enjoy. She dropped her keys and her jacket at the door and followed the trail of rose petals back to their bedroom. That room was also full of candles and rose petals were strewn all over the bed. The trail of petals stopped at the closed bathroom door. She didn't know why she was nervous, but she opened the door hesitantly and smiled at the sight before her.

Alec was standing in his birthday suit, with nothing but a single white rose to hide behind. He reached out to her with one hand and pulled her toward him.

"Surprise," he whispered as he handed her the rose and kissed her softly on the lips. She was too overwhelmed to say anything for a minute or two.

"Wow, this is beautiful. What did I do to deserve all this?" she asked, once she could manage to form words.

"You put up with me," he replied with a shrug. She laughed softly…nervous laughter. She had a nagging feeling that his answer had a greater meaning than him just being playful, but she wasn't going to let her mind run away with her now. "Now gorgeous, we've got to get you out of these clothes before your bath gets cold," he said. She made a move to undo her belt but he stopped her. He told her that tonight was about her and she wasn't to lift a finger.

He began slowly undressing her and he smirked as her breath caught in her throat every time his fingers grazed her skin. He couldn't help but stop and smile appreciatively as he gazed upon Asha's secret guilty pleasure. He knew his wife would give her last dime to help a person in need, but she had a serious thing for sexy lace underwear, and that was the one thing she wouldn't give up for anyone. He'd asked her about it once. She told him that being a revolutionary most often required a uniform of jeans and shit kicking boots, and an attitude of being just one of the guys. She said that the sexy underwear reminded her that she was a real woman underneath it all, and the feel of it against her skin always gave her a much needed boost of feminine energy…it made her feel powerful. He had never fully understood what she meant until now…looking at her stand their in those black lace panties with the matching bra, she was definitely the one with all the power.

Getting on with the task at hand, he carefully removed them and led her over to the bathtub where he patiently waited as she eased into the steaming hot pool. He eased in behind her and wrapped his arms around her, and she sighed contentedly as she leaned back against his chest. He had almost forgotten how good she felt in his arms. Had it really been so long? He kissed the top of her head before taking a loofah and making the hot water rain down over the parts of her body that weren't submerged, and smiled at her moans of bliss. Asha was so relaxed that she felt like her bones had dissolved as he lovingly washed her body and then her hair.

"Now remind me Mr. McDowell…why haven't we done this more often again?" Asha asked, her voice thick with some strangely intoxicating hybrid of desire and sleepiness.

"Because I'm obviously an idiot," he replied, "Baby, the water's getting cold…we should get out now." Asha pouted, but agreed.

Alec got out first and then helped Asha up. Something came over him as he watched her stand up. Naturally, he had seen her naked countless times before, but there was just something strange about tonight. He couldn't keep his eyes off of her. He could barely contain himself as he looked at her standing there dripping with water and bubbles. Before Asha knew what was happening, Alec had carried her out of the bathroom and gently placed her on the bed…there would be no drying off that night. As they made love that night, all Alec wanted to do was please her. He pulled out all the stops, pleasuring her in ways neither of them ever thought possible…making love to her as if it would be the last time they'd ever get to do this.

* * *

The next morning he was the first to wake, as usual. She had kept him up all night anyway with all her tossing and turning and kicking the sheets off. She only did that when there was something on he mind and he wondered what it was. Maybe she was worried about how things had been changing between them as of late. Her worrying made him worried. Their friends still thought they were Mr. and Mrs. Perfect, but they both knew better. When Asha wasn't busy with Gabe, she was spending every spare minute working with Logan and the S1W. He resented that, but he knew that was just her way of reacting to him. He had been pushing her away lately. Until last night he hadn't made love to her in months…hell, he had barely even touched the woman in months outside of a few rather chaste kisses. That feeling of guilt returned.

They used to spend hours just talking about any and every thing, he used to rush home just to hold her…but for the past few months they had barely said anything to each other unless it was about Gabe or a mission. Her eyes used to be so alive, such a vibrant blue. But now they were dark and dull, and she seemed to be on the verge of crying whenever he was around…she was astute enough to sense that things were going horribly wrong. He had been up and dressed for hours, but as he looked at her sleeping he just had to go lie down beside her. She was lying on her back with her head turned toward him, one arm bent so her hand rested near her face, the other splayed out across the other side of the bed.

She was so beautiful lying there with her lips slightly parted. As he lightly traced her lips with his finger, he felt terrible about what he had done. He knew he had to make things right…today. He didn't want to lose her, she was everything to him and he had been so stupid to take that for granted. He didn't want to lose his family. He rested his hand lightly on her flat stomach, then closed his eyes and sighed as the realized how dumb he had been to jeopardize that. He was startled to find hazy blue orbs looking back at him when he opened them again.

"Cold" she whispered as she yawned and stretched gracefully.

"Of course you are, you're naked…and you've been kicking the covers off all night," he replied. Her brow knitted as if she didn't understand and she looked down to find that the sheet was just barely hanging on to her hips and she was bare from there up.

"Oh," she replied softly, still sleepy. She shivered and he pulled the sheet up around her before placing his hand back on her stomach and rubbing it slowly. "What are you thinking about?" she said so softly he wouldn't have heard it if not for his enhanced hearing. He smiled…he loved how soft her voice was when she first woke up.

"I was just wondering how you got to be so perfect without any help from Manticore," he began, "…and I was also thinking about what it would be like if…maybe…we had another baby."

That definitely woke her up. They had never discussed it before; she had always assumed it was something he didn't want.

"Wow. I didn't know it was something you were thinking about. I mean…I know how much you love Gabe, but you weren't exactly thrilled when I first told you I was pregnant so I just thought you wouldn't want another," she said.

"I know, I wasn't really thinking about it until now. I never thought I'd be a good father since I never had one…but being with Gabe is just so amazing. I think going through the process of actually planning to have a baby would be even more amazing. I wasn't there for you during most of your pregnancy with Gabe and I'm so sorry for that. I want to know what it's like to be there every step of the way, to get you ice cream and pickles when you have a craving at three in the morning and all that," he replied.

Asha was speechless. She wanted to tell him that this would be a huge mistake unless they worked out whatever problem it was they were having lately, but she just couldn't bring herself to say the words. He had just poured his heart out to her, and she just couldn't step on it when he was looking at her with those eyes…begging her to say yes. Instead she ignored her brain and followed her heart.

"I think it's a great idea, I'd love to have another baby with you," she said, smiling. He was so happy he pulled her on top of him and kissed her.

"How do you feel about starting right now?" he said, breaking away from her for a second. She didn't say anything, just gave him a mischievous smirk and expertly pulled his shirt over his head. As he rolled her over on her back, he knew he would definitely be late for work.

TBC…


	2. Chapter 2

_Hey Beautiful,_

_Leaving you is the last thing I wanted to do, but I had to get to work and I just didn't have the heart to wake you. Max and Original Cindy called and said you're all theirs tonight, so I'm going out with Sketchy. Have fun with the girls…we'll work on our group project again later, love._

_P.S. – I love you. Stop smiling. Put the dimples away, put the paper down, and go back to sleep._

_

* * *

_

Asha giggled as she read that last line. He knew her all too well. She had awakened to find that letter on the pillow next to her instead of her husband. She shivered and suddenly missed the warmth of his body. She was about to get out of bed and grab something to wear when she spotted Alec's shirt on the floor. It was the one that had been discarded during their earlier lovemaking session. She grabbed it and slipped it on…his scent was all over it. She couldn't help but smile when she thought back to when things were good between them…back to the times when they'd make plans to go out and do something on a Sunday morning but ended making love instead, and by the middle of the day she always found herself in the shirt he had been wearing that morning. She inhaled deeply, filling her nostrils with a scent that was like home to her. Most people associated home with freshly baked chocolate chip cookies or pies in the oven, but not Asha.

She had never known those things. Those were things a mother did, and a mother was something she never really had. Her mother left her and her older brother with their bastard of a father when Asha was so young she barely knew what a mother was. She couldn't really blame her; her father was a prick. A woman could only take so much verbal abuse and cheating before it broke her…broke her enough to make her want to get out of there so desperately that she'd leave her own children behind. Maybe that was the fate of all trophy wives…as long as you look great the money flows and everything is good, but when the children take your body down a notch you're suddenly treated like trash. By the time he was eighteen, her brother couldn't take it anymore so he took Asha and got out of that hellhole. Asha was twelve at the time, and she wouldn't find it surprising if her father still didn't realize they were gone. With fifty bucks in his pocket and no one to turn to, her brother somehow made it work. They eventually got involved in the S1W, leading Asha to where she was now…she'd have to remember to thank her brother for that if she ever saw him again.

What she had with Alec was everything she'd never had growing up. They weren't angels; they had arguments like everyone else but no matter what she always knew that he loved her in the end…and he loved his son. He would give his life to keep them safe and she felt comforted by that. The one place she truly felt safe was in his arms…and he smelled like home. She had been so upset during the rough patch they had been going through for the past few months because she felt like it was all falling apart. It felt like being told to jump out of a burning building when there was no one below to catch you. She didn't want to let go…she wanted her son to have the life she wished she could have had. She wanted him to know that mommy, daddy, and baby could live happily ever after. She wanted to close the distance that had somehow formed between her and Alec. That's why when he reached out to her, asked her to have another baby with him…she couldn't say no, no matter how stupid her brain was telling her it was. She would get pregnant again and he would take care of her this time, then it would be the four of them. No, she couldn't let go. The four of them…it was a beautiful dream…and that was the image that played in her head as she lay back down and let sleep claim her again.

* * *

A few hours later she was startled out of her slumber by loud knocking on the door. She quickly stumbled out of bed, slipped on the pair of Alec's boxers that had also been thrown to the floor, and ran to see who it was. She was totally drained by the activities of last night and that morning. If she hadn't been so exhausted she would have had the presence of mind to rethink her current attire. Flinging the door open, she was surprised to see Max, Original Cindy, and her son standing there.

"Mommy!" he yelled as he jumped into her arms, nearly knocking her over.

"Hi baby! Oh I missed you so much," she said, showering him with kisses, "Did you have fun with Aunt Cindy?" She put him down and he began to rattle off all the fun things they had done. Asha listened as much as she could, but really only caught about half of what he said.

Being a 4-year-old, he quickly lost interest in the subject and made his way to the living room to play. Asha, Max, and Original Cindy followed.

"Boo, as fine as your ass is, I don't need to see it…there's no need to taunt me with what I can't have," Original Cindy said as she walked behind Asha and tugged the boxers up. Alec's boxers were much too large for Asha's thin frame and they were practically falling off of her.

"Sorry, I just grabbed the first thing I saw. Thanks for bringing Gabe home, I was going to come pick him up…I'm just so tired I can't seem to stay awake," Asha said, stifling a yawn.

"Were you still asleep? It's three in the afternoon, you feeling ok?" Max asked as they made their way to the living room. Asha stretched out on the sofa and tucked a blanket around herself while Max and Original Cindy took the loveseat. Gabe sat on the floor by the coffee table playing with a toy truck.

"Oh she's fine," Original Cindy interjected before Asha could answer, "Look at her, hair all messy, sleeping past noon, throwing on her man's clothes to answer the door…somebody got some last night."

"Got some what, mommy?" Gabe asked. He had an uncanny ability to hear everything he shouldn't and ignore everything he should.

"Got some of your daddy's…" Max began, but was interrupted by Asha.

"Flowers!" Asha yelled, rolling her eyes at Max, "Daddy gave me all the pretty flowers and candles that are all over the floor. Gabe, sweetie, why don't you go play in your room? There's something special for you on your bed." Asha laughed as her sons face lit up and he ran off to his room. "Max, he's only four…we're not ready to have the sex talk with him yet so please don't give him any ideas," Asha said.

"Sorry, sorry…won't happen again," Max apologized.

"So really boo…rose petals, candles, obviously you and lover boy had fun last night…we want the details," Original Cindy said.

"No, she wants the details, I can really live without the mental picture of you and Alec doing…ugh, I shudder just thinking the words," Max said. Asha couldn't help but smile.

"I'll spare you the details. It was just the first night we've had alone in a long time so he surprised me with something romantic. I came home and found rose petals and candles everywhere, and he had a bubble bath waiting for me. Then for the rest of the night and again this morning we did the things that have me so tired and sore right now," Asha replied.

"Eww, TMI…changing the subject now. Alec probably already told you that you're all ours tonight, so OC wants to take us poor little boring straight girls to a strip club," Max said.

"I don't know guys; it's not really my style… and what about Gabe? He already spent last night away from us, I don't want to just pack him up and ship him off again," she replied.

"Don't worry about Gabe, Logan wants to spend some time with him anyway so he's all for babysitting tonight. Gabe loves Uncle Logan's place…he gets to play with cool gadgets," Max said. Asha couldn't argue with that one. Logan already had their son well on the way to geekdom.

"But clubs are full of smoke and Alec and I are trying to get pregnant, it's probably not good for me," Asha said.

"Another baby? Wow…just, wow," Max said. "I know; I was shocked too. It was all Alec's idea…he sprung it on me this morning," Asha replied. "That's wonderful, I can't wait to have another niece or nephew…and that's all the more reason for you to come out tonight and celebrate with us," Max started, "We'll get Gabe together and take him to Logan's, and you can get a few more hours of sleep. Then we can come back and pick you up tonight around nine."

"I don't know," Asha said with a sigh. She had the feeling they weren't going to let her get out of this one.

"Come on Asha, one night of alcohol and second hand smoke isn't going to kill you…you're not even pregnant yet. You have to get out and have some fun sometimes," Max said.

"I do…sometimes…well, when it's something Gabe wants to do. Ok, bottom line…I'm busy. I have a husband and a son to take care of, not to mention the S1W stuff. Sure I don't go out partying on the weekends, I just don't have the time, but I'm fine with that," Asha replied.

"Boo, we all know you're an amazing wife, and an even better mother. You even risk your life to help people you don't even know…and that's a great reason for you to relax and do something just for yourself for once," Original Cindy interjected. Asha sighed; this was so not her style. Her idea of relaxing and having fun was curling up in bed with a good book and a cup of hot tea.

"Oh what the hell. Fine, I'll go…you only live once right?" Asha said. A night out with the girls at a strip club… 'This should be interesting' Asha thought to herself.

TBC…


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Note: I changed my format here and started a new paragraph every time a different person starts speaking. I've had some complaints about my old format in some other stories so hopefully this is easier to understand. I'll go back and fix the previous chapters later.

* * *

"Wow, you look amazing, but I'm pretty sure that shirt is breaking several laws," Max said as Asha finally emerged from her bedroom.

Asha was wearing a snug pair of low-rise, boot-cut jeans, and a shirt that could only be described as a glorified scarf. It was made out of a thin chiffon-like material, and to say there was nothing much to it would be an understatement. It dipped down to her navel in the front, and was completely backless…held on by nothing but a small chain that draped around the back of her neck and another that held the ends of the fabric together at the small of her back…and a couple of strategically placed pieces of double sided tape to prevent arrest for indecent exposure. It was an unusually warm night for Seattle, so she finished the outfit off with a pair of strappy stiletto sandals that were the same color red as her shirt.

"Damn, Blondie…we're going to have to get you out of the house more often. Hiding all that under jeans and t-shirts is a crime," Original Cindy said.

"Thank you, thank you. You two are looking pretty good yourselves," Asha said. Max was wearing low-rise jeans similar to Asha's and a sheer black tank with a matching black bra under it, and boots. Original Cindy was wearing a brown, long-sleeved, cleavage bearing button down shirt and a denim skirt with chocolate brown knee-high boots.

"Sexy shirt for a revolutionary, Ash. Let me guess…a present from Alec?" Max asked.

"Of course, and this is the first time I'm wearing it and actually making it out of the house," Asha replied with a laugh, "We should go before my husband's spidey sense kicks in and I get trapped between him and a bed." With that they headed out.

It was her first time at a strip club and Asha had to admit she was having fun. The music was blaring and the drinks were flowing. Original Cindy had insisted on buying Asha a lap dance when they first got there…it was an interesting experience to say the least. Currently she was sitting alone nursing a vodka and cranberry while Original Cindy was across the room pursuing a honey, and Max was kicking some guy's ass in pool on the other side of the room.

"You don't strike me as the kind of woman to frequent a place like this," the woman said. Asha looked up to find a striking brunette standing beside her. By her attire, Asha could tell that she was a dancer. If this was a different time, a different place, she could have been a model instead of a pole jockey.

"I'm not, my friends decided I needed to have some fun," Asha replied.

"So why are you sitting here alone instead of having fun with your friends?" she asked, "My name is Janine by the way."

"I'm Asha, nice to meet you," Asha replied, "and I'm not with them because my friend Original Cindy is over there trying not to go home alone, and my other friend Max is hustling some poor sucker over at the pool tables."

"You're a friend of OC's? Well any friend of hers is alright with me," Janine said. "You don't look like you play for the all girl's team."

"Am I that transparent?" Asha asked.

"Not really, but the wedding ring kind of gives it away," Janine replied. Asha laughed. "So who's the lucky guy? Looking at you, I'm thinking he has to be something pretty spectacular."

"He is, his name is Alec…and then there's the other man in my life, our son Gabriel Alexander," Asha said with a slight blush creeping up her cheeks. She could have sworn there was a hint of recognition in Janie's eyes at the mention of Alec's name…but it could have just been the buzz she was feeling making her see things.

"Well gorgeous, it's time for me to get to work. I'm sure you love that man of yours, but if you ever feel like trying something different give me a call," Janine said. Just then a waitress had appeared at the table with another vodka and cranberry for Asha. She looked confused and was about to tell the waitress she didn't order another drink when Janine interrupted.

"The drink is on me, see you around…hopefully," Janine said with a wink and a smile, then she ran off to the back of the club. Asha was too stunned to say anything. Outside of the banter with Original Cindy which she never took seriously, a woman had never flirted with her so blatantly before. It was flattering to say the least. As she picked up the glass she noticed a small white square of paper stuck to the bottom. It was Janine's name and phone number. She smiled and shook her head before downing the drink much faster than she should have.

While Asha was busy talking to Janine, Max had been hustling some suckers at the pool tables while keeping and eye on Asha between shots. She snatched her money from the last loser and looked to the door just in time to see Alec and Sketchy come in. She smiled, knowing that he was in for a big surprise when he saw Asha there. Knowing Alec he would be ecstatic…his wife in a strip club looking at half-naked women? It was probably his fantasy. Max was just about to go over and get his attention when she saw something strange. Sketchy went off to the other side of the club near the stage, but Alec came over toward the back where he started talking to one of the dancers, a redhead. She didn't think anything of it at first. They all knew that Sketchy and Alec were regulars at the club and had been for a long time, and when he married Asha she didn't make a big deal out of it. That's why they worked so well together…Alec was the one with the temper who could fly off the handle at any moment, while Asha was almost always cool, calm, and collected.

Max was watching him like a hawk, she just had the feeling that something was strange about the interaction and she soon got her proof. Their conversation looked like it was getting pretty heated, and the redhead grabbed Alec's hand and started pulling him toward the back of the club. As they got closer to where Max was her enhanced hearing started to pick up on some of what the woman was saying. She heard her say something about sleeping together, and she heard Alec say it was a mistake and something about fixing things. The music was blaring so she could only catch bits and pieces of it, but she caught enough to get really pissed off.

They veered off down the hallway that led to the bathrooms and dressing rooms just before they reached the pool tables. Alec was so engrossed in the conversation that he never noticed Max, or his wife sitting in the middle of the club. Max had to fight the urge to go back there and snap Alec's neck. She looked over to where Asha was again just to make sure she hadn't seen Alec. Asha didn't know, and this wasn't the way she should find out. This was supposed to be her night of fun, Alec just had to come along and ruin it all. She had to get Asha out of there before all hell broke loose. She started to walk over to the table just as Asha got up and headed her way.

"Hey Ash, I was just coming over to see if you were ready to go," Max said, trying to sound as casual as possible.

"Sure, but I need to go to the bathroom first," Asha said, slurring her words slightly. 'Shit' Max thought to herself; that's where Alec had just gone. This was not good, not good at all.

"You don't want to go in those bathrooms, they're disgusting. We should just leave, you can go at home," Max said, just as Original Cindy approached.

"I've had five drinks, I'm not going to make it that far," Asha said as she stumbled past Max and headed toward the hallway.

"Asha wait…" Max started, but it was already too late.

Asha didn't know what Max's problem was; all she wanted to do was go to the bathroom. Why was that even a topic of debate? As she rounded the corner she stopped dead in her tracks. For a moment she thought her eyes were playing tricks on her…maybe she was more of a lightweight than she thought she was and all that vodka had gone to her head. She blinked a couple of times, hoping that the horrible image before her would just go away but it didn't…and as she recited her name, address, and phone number in her head, she realized she wasn't drunk enough to be seeing things. It was no illusion…there; right before her eyes was Alec kissing some stripper in a dark corner beside the dressing room. Asha could almost hear the sound of her heart breaking, her life falling apart…and all she could do was get the hell out of there as fast as physically possible.

Original Cindy wished she knew what the hell was going on. One minute they were standing there talking about bathrooms and the next Asha was bolting out the door fast enough to be mistaken for a transgenic…and Max was right on her heels. She sighed, there was always some kind of drama within their little circle of friends…and whatever it was this time had something to do with that hallway, so she decided to take a look. She looked down the hall and saw exactly what it was that had everyone upset. She headed in the direction Asha and Max had gone…if she had stuck around a moment longer she would have seen Alec push the woman away.

Max ran outside just in time to catch Asha before she dropped to her knees in a pool of her own vomit. Asha was shaking like a leaf and unsteady on her feet, and Max suspected that had more to do with what she had just seen than her blood alcohol content. She helped her over to the curb and sat her down.

"What do you want me to do? If you want me to go back in there and kick his ass I'll do it, just say the word," Max said softly, squatting in front of Asha and brushing the hair back from her face. Asha didn't say anything, just stared off into space and shook her head 'no'. She was responding, that was a good sign. Max sat down on the curb beside her. She couldn't even imagine how Asha was feeling right now. Logan was barely even her boyfriend and it would kill her if she caught Logan kissing another woman. Alec was Asha's husband, the father of her child…that had to really hurt. Asha didn't know what to do, she couldn't think, she couldn't wrap her mind around what had just happened.

"I—I need to go. I've got to get out of here," Asha said, just as Original Cindy came to join them.

"What? Where are you going?" Original Cindy asked.

"I don't know, somewhere…anywhere, just not here," Asha said softly. She got up and began walking away.

"You just saw your man cheating on you and you're just going to walk away like it was nothing? Oh hell no! What you need to do is…" Original Cindy started, but Max cut her off.

"OC, stop! Leave her alone. She just caught her husband cheating on her…the last thing she needs is someone telling her how to handle it," Max said. "Let her go, she'll figure it out on her own."

Asha didn't know how, but somehow she ended up at home. She headed straight to the bedroom, tossed her clothes on the floor and crawled into bed. She lay there for an hour or so before everything hit her with such force that she could do nothing but start sobbing. How could he do this to her, to their family? What had gone so horribly wrong? What had she done or not done to make him turn to another woman? She was so caught up in her thoughts that she almost missed the sound of the front door closing. Alec was home. Asha took a few deep breaths to try and calm herself as best she could. She quickly wiped the tears from her face and pretended to be asleep as she heard Alec approaching the bedroom.

Alec was surprised to find Asha in bed as he opened the door. It was still rather early, just after midnight…he hadn't expected her home until at least three in the morning. Then again, much like Logan, Asha had always been more of a bookworm than a party animal and he doubted even OC and Max could break her of it. He undressed and got in bed. Her back was to him and he smiled as he snuggled up to her. He had done what he had to do, he had tried to make things right again…and now he could move on with his life with Asha and Gabe and never look back. It was a stupid mistake, but it was over and she never had to know. He kissed the back of her head and snaked his arm around her waist.

Asha's eyes shot open as she felt Alec's hand sliding lightly across her stomach. She tried to hold it together, she didn't want to cry…he didn't deserve her tears, but she couldn't help it. He heard her sniffling and felt her shoulders shaking and sat up.

"Baby, are you crying? What's wrong?" he asked.

"My head hurts," she answered shakily. She should have just gotten it over with and told him what she had seen, but it hurt too much. She really did have a headache, so it wasn't really a lie. She took a bad fall off a horse when she was eight years old and got a concussion, ever since then she had been prone to occasional migraines…so Alec didn't even question the tears.

"Aww, I'm sorry. Relax, I'll go get you something for that," Alec said as her jumped out of bed to get her some painkillers and a glass of water. "Here, take these," he said as he handed her the pills and the water. She gratefully accepted and finished off the glass of water before lying back down.

"Alec, we…" she started, but he cut her off.

"Shh, just relax," he said as he began to gently massage her temples. Asha just closed her eyes and let him work his magic. This was the man she knew. This was the man she fell in love with…the one who took care of her, the one who was there when she needed him…the one who loved her and would never betray her. That man in the club was someone else…someone she didn't know. She hated that man in the club. She hated him so much. Her mind knew it wasn't right to just pretend she hadn't seen anything. Her mind wanted to jump up and scream at him, hit him, hurt him like he had hurt her…but her heart was in control. Her heart just wanted to have this moment…her heart just wanted to hold on to the notion that he still loved her, and she couldn't fight it…so she let herself drift off to sleep knowing that it was all downhill from here.

TBC…


	4. Chapter 4

When Alec woke up Asha was already gone. That was weird, it was only nine. Sunday was the only day she insisted upon having off and she usually slept in. Their usual Sunday ritual was to sleep until at least noon, then get up and do something as a family. Gabe was at Logan's house the night before, so Alec thought that maybe she had just gone to pick him up. He thought back to what had happened last night and felt so relieved. Cheating on Asha was a stupid mistake, possibly the dumbest thing he had ever done in his life…and he had done a lot of dumb things. But it was all over now, and he was going to change…no more strip clubs with Sketchy. Asha was the only woman for him, the only one he needed to look at. He got up and got dressed. He would wait for Asha and Gabe to get home then they would all go out and do something special. It had been a rough few months for everyone, and they all deserved a little fun.

Asha left early that morning with no destination in mind. She couldn't really sleep anyway, and the more she thought about the man beside her the angrier she became. She just had to get out of there and clear her head. She got dressed, headed out the door and just started walking. Somehow she ended up near Logan's apartment, so she decided to go pick up the only man in her life who never disappointed her. It was still early, just after nine, but she knew they were awake by now.

"Hi Asha, I wasn't expecting you so early. I know you usually sleep late on Sundays," Logan said as he opened the door and waved her in.

"Yeah, I was a little restless and missing my baby so I was up early," she replied.

"Hi mommy!" Gabe yelled as he ran into the living room and pounced on her…nearly knocking the wind out of her. He was too young to realize his own strength, but he was starting to show some transgenic abilities.

"Hi baby, I missed you so much. What have you and Uncle Logan been doing?" she asked.

"Uncle Logan helped me build a robot!" he said excitedly, "wanna see it?"

"Of course I do, go get it," she replied, laughing at the way his face lit up. Gabe ran off to the back to retrieve the robot, while she took a seat on the sofa beside Logan.

"Asha, what's wrong?" Logan asked after noticing how quickly her smile faded once Gabe left the room. "Max wasn't too happy when she came over last night, did something happen?"

She started to protest and say that she was fine, but Logan had known her forever. He had been their neighbor before she and her brother left their father's house and he was one of her brother's best friends. He gave her a look that told her he wasn't going to buy any of her "no really, I'm happy" bullshit, so she didn't even bother to try it. She was just about to tell him the truth when Gabe ran back into the room with his toy. He put on a show for her, and she put on her happy face for him.

"Hey Gabe, can you stay here and play with your robot for a few minutes while I go talk to Uncle Logan in the kitchen?" she asked after he had shown her everything he knew. He nodded and she motioned for Logan to follow her.

"Are you hungry? Can I offer you some coffee or something?" he asked.

"No thanks, my stomach is a little uneasy right now," she replied.

"So are you going to tell me what's going on?" he asked after they had been sitting there in silence for several minutes.

She swallowed hard, and he could see it was a very difficult subject for her. "Last night OC and Max took me to that strip club over in Sector 7…and I—I caught Alec cheating on me," she blurted out.

It took Logan a minute to process what she had just told him, but once he did he was furious with Alec. Alec had a beautiful wife who loved him and a wonderful child, and he just couldn't understand how someone could risk losing that. His first instinct was to storm out of there and go strangle Alec, but then he saw Asha's face. She was leaning against the counter with her head down, losing the battle against her own tears. He went over and hugged her tightly, he wanted to tell her everything would be fine but he couldn't…because he knew it wouldn't be. She was devastated and rightfully so. He had never thought of Alec as the type to settle down with a wife and kids…he wanted to say I told you so but as he felt her hot tears soaking into his shirt he knew he couldn't do that to her. Asha had a good heart and that made her quite naïve at times…she believed that people could change, and that's the mistake she made with Alec. Alec had walked out on her when she needed him the most, and now this. After a few minutes Asha sniffled and wiped her eyes.

"Sorry about the shirt," she said.

"It's ok. You know I'm always here for you. Is there anything I can do?" he replied sympathetically.

"Actually there is. Listen, I haven't said anything to Alec yet so he doesn't know that I caught him…I really need to talk to him tonight. Would you mind if Gabe stays with you again? I have a feeling things are going to get pretty gnarly and I don't want him to witness that," Asha said.

"No problem, you know I love having Gabe around. We had plans to build another robot and have them fight anyway," Logan replied. Asha smiled and shook her head.

"Not to ruin your male bonding time, but I think I'll hang out here for a while…spend some time with my boy, get my head straight and all," she said.

"Fine by me, we've both been so busy lately I haven't had much time to spend with one of my oldest friends. We have some catching up to do missy," he replied, throwing an arm around Asha's shoulders and walking her back into the living room.

Asha spent the day with her son and her oldest friend. They played games, had lunch, watched movies…and for a while Asha's mind was completely free of Alec. That was until Gabe said something about his daddy and reality came crashing back down.

"Gabe sweetie, I have to leave now," she said as she stood and put her jacket on. He was too engrossed in building his masterpiece out of Legos. She mussed his hair and kissed the top of his head before heading toward the door. Logan placed a comforting hand on her shoulder as he walked her out. He was barely touching her and he could feel how tense she was.

"Asha, I'm not going to lie to you and tell you everything will be ok…but I promise you, you will get through it," Logan said. Asha nodded and gave him a sad smile, and then she was gone.

Alec had been sitting around all day waiting for Asha to return home, but she never did. She hadn't even called and that was so unlike her. He was starting to get worried. He had called her cell phone only to find it in the living room between the sofa cushions. He had also tried calling Max, Logan, and Original Cindy to see if they knew where she was…but he couldn't get anything more than voicemail from any of them. Was everyone avoiding him today? Normally he had a sixth sense about her being in any kind of danger, but that wasn't the vibe he was getting…maybe something was wrong and his senses were just off. Either way, the only way to find her was to get off his ass and look, so he grabbed his coat and keys and headed out.

Asha walked home slowly, trying to delay the inevitable for as long as possible. She still couldn't believe this was happening. Out of the blue it hit her. The distance that had been between them for the past few months, the strain on their relationship…maybe it all had to do with Alec having another woman in his life. She jammed her hands in her pockets and tried to shake off the anger that was starting to overwhelm her. There was a piece of paper in there and she pulled it out…it was a little water damaged but she could clearly make out the name Janine. In her haste to get out of the house she had thrown on the same jeans she wore the night before. Suddenly an idea popped into her head and she walked home a little faster. She was relieved to find that Alec wasn't there when she got home. She grabbed the phone and stood there fingering the slip of paper in her pocket. She knew that once she decided to do this there was no turning back.

"Fuck it," she said, pulling the paper from her pocket once again and dialing the number. It rang four times and she was just about to hang up when she heard a groggy voice on the other end. "Janine? Hi, sorry to wake you. This is Asha…yeah, from the club last night. Do you have any plans for tonight? –Good, I think I'm ready to try something new and I was hoping that you would help me out."

They solidified their plans and hung up. Asha took a few deep breaths, she felt like she had been holding it the hold time. She really wasn't a vindictive woman…she wasn't the type to throw her husband's clothes out the window after every argument, but Alec had gone too far this time. This went well beyond just hurting her feelings or her pride…he had broken her heart. He had hurt her so much she felt a physical aching in her chest. So if he wanted to play games, she could too. She knew that two wrongs didn't make a right, but it sure as hell made you feel a little better.

TBC…


	5. Chapter 5

Alec didn't know what the hell was going on, but there was definitely something. It seemed like everyone was avoiding him. Asha had been gone all day without calling home. He had called all their friends only to get their voicemail; then finally he had stopped by Logan's apartment to see if he knew what was going on…only to find his son there, but not his wife. Logan told him she had been there that morning but she was long gone. Something was off…if Asha was avoiding him she was upset about something, and he wasn't looking forward to prying it out of her. He sighed. Asha was the most outgoing and passionate person when it came to righting the wrongs of the world, but when it came to problems with her personal life she was often shy and withdrawn. She retreated into her shell, or she ran to avoid the issue and it was like pulling teeth to get her to say what was on her mind. His search was getting nowhere, so he decided to head home and wait for her…she had to turn up eventually.

Asha didn't feel good about this at all. She thought she would get some kind of satisfaction out of it. She thought it might make what Alec did hurt just a little less, but so far, it was just making her feel worse…and when she heard Alec's key in the door it really went downhill. If she was a different woman she would have enjoyed the foreign lips pressed against hers, the hands exploring her body, the weight of the body on top of hers…but she wasn't that woman, and she wasn't enjoying it. If she was the woman she wanted to be right now there would be a man on top of her instead of Janine…that's the only thing that would truly cut Alec deep enough for him to understand the pain she was feeling.

"You know, this would be the average man's fantasy, and I used to think it was mine too…but right now it's really just pissing me off," Alec said as he took in the scene in his living room, "Asha, what the fuck are you doing?"

Janine quickly collected herself and looked back and forth between husband and wife. Asha started to try and explain, or apologize but Janine cut her off. She knew exactly what was going on. She knew Alec was a regular in the club, and she suspected that he had something going on with one of the girls…and she had witnessed the whole scene last night when Asha ran out. She placed a comforting hand on Asha shoulder, letting her know that it was ok…then she left, forcing Asha to turn her attention back to Alec.

"I was just having a little fun," Asha said.

"Fun? Making out with some stripper in our living room is fun? That's bullshit and you know it. What's really going on here?" Alec said. He didn't know what game she was playing, but he sure as hell didn't like it.

"Oh so it's ok for you to have all the fun you want with strippers, but I can't? That's one hell of a double standard Alec," Asha replied.

"I'm sick of this game Asha. So either tell me what the hell you're talking about or I'm gone," Alec said, he was quickly losing patience.

"I saw you…last night at the strip club in Sector 7. I saw you cheating on me, kissing a redhead…now it's your turn to start answering some questions," Asha said. She got a small amount of satisfaction from watching his face fall.

"Oh God, Asha…honey that wasn't what you think. I…" Alec started.

"Wasn't what I think? I saw you Alec! I didn't have to think anything!" she shouted. She took a deep breath and tried to calm herself. "Who is she?"

"Her name is Amber, and she doesn't mean anything to me…I love you Asha, and only you," he said.

"You sure have a funny way of showing it," Asha said, laughing bitterly. "You love me, so you go kiss another woman? Did…did youdid you sleep with her?"

"Baby I…you don't understand. I was there to end it with her. She kissed me…if you had stayed a little longer you would have seen me push her away. It's over, she's nothing," he said.

"Answer the question, Alec. Did you sleep with her?" she asked again, her patience rapidly slipping away.

He hesitated, desperately trying to find a way out of this. Searching for some way to make the blow less painful to her, but there was nothing he could do. "Yes," he said quietly. When he heard her whimper softly, he knew she was heartbroken.

"How long?" she said. Her voice cracked from the lump in her throat…the tears she was choking back.

"Baby, please, just…" Alec started.

"Don't call me that…stop stalling and just answer the damn question. How long has this been going on?" she said. Her voice was low, her words deliberate…she wasn't in the mood for games or excuses. Now was the time for the cold, hard facts.

He steeled himself. He had never seen her eyes so cold. If only Manticore could see him now…millions of dollars spent on genetic research to make him and here he was, shaken by a tiny, normal woman. "A few months," he said while taking a few steps back, though he didn't know why. Maybe it was because he knew she had every right to deck him for what he had done.

She laughed bitterly again and took a few deep breaths. It was exactly as she thought. He started sleeping with another woman, and that's when the problems had started between them. "Here I was thinking my husband and I hadn't had sex in months because we were both too busy…turns out you've been getting it somewhere else," she said, staring up and the ceiling and blinking back the tears. "What was it, Alec? Am I not good enough in bed for you? Not pretty enough? What?"

A wave of anger flashed through him and he rushed over to her and grabbed her firmly by the upper part of her arms. "Don't you ever say that again! Don't even think it! You're gorgeous and you know it. It's wasn't you, it was me!" he yelled. She winced and he realized that he was hurting her. He let go of her as if he had just touched fire. "Oh God, I…I didn't mean to…I hurt you. I—I'm so sorry," he said as he saw the angry red handprints standing out like a neon sign on her smooth ivory skin. He was out of line and it scared him. For the first time since he'd known her he actually detected the hint of fear in her eyes when she looked at him, and he felt ashamed.

Asha absentmindedly rubbed her arms. He scared her, but she knew he hadn't meant to do that, in the heat of the moment he had forgotten his own strength. It was all so surreal…like it was all happening to someone else. She kept hoping it was all just a bad dream and she would wake up soon. "Why?" she said, sighing, "How could you do this to me…and to Gabe?"

"I felt trapped! A few months ago, I took a look around and I didn't recognize my life. This…us…it was all too fast. I hadn't even been out of Manticore for a year when we started hooking up. We hadn't even decided what we were to each other, then all of a sudden you're pregnant, and I have a wife and a son that I'm responsible for," he said.

"Trapped? I guess you have a selective memory then. I didn't get pregnant to trap you. If I wanted to do that, I wouldn't have given you an out. I knew what we were to each other…I knew I was nothing more than a good time to you," she replied.

* * *

_"Asha? What are you doing here? I wasn't expecting to see you tonight, but I can't say I'm disappointed" he said, opening the door to allow her in._ "_I know. Sorry for just showing up like this, but…do you have a few minutes? I really need to talk to you about something," she said. _

"_Sure," he replied, flopping down on the sofa and pulling her down beside him. He didn't like the look in her eyes…she was nervous, scared…this couldn't be good._

"_Asha, whatever it is…you can tell me, you know that right?" he said after a few moments of awkward silence._

"_Ok, um, I guess the best way to do this is to just come out with it, so…Alec, I'm pregnant," she said. _

_He was stunned. He didn't know what to say. All he could do was get up and start pacing. "Is it…is it mine?" he asked. She was a little hurt by the question, but she knew why he was asking. They had an arrangement…since she couldn't have Logan, and he couldn't have Max, they could at least find a little physical pleasure in each other. She still hadn't expected the question. They had become really good friends…and as far as she knew, neither of them had been sleeping around. _

"_Yes, it's yours. Listen Alec, I'm keeping this baby…but I know you just got out of Manticore and everything, and you've got a lot of living to do. Hell, we aren't even a couple, so I understand if you don't want to be a part of this. If you want to walk away, I'll understand and I won't try to stop you or force you to be part of this baby's life if you don't want to be," Asha said._

_He ran his hands through his hair. "Are you ok? I mean, are you feeling ok?" he asked. She nodded her head yes. "Good. Asha, I just can't deal with this right now. I—I'm sorry but I just can't do this," he said. He kissed her on the cheek, grabbed his keys and jacket, and he was gone before the first of her tears even hit the floor._

_

* * *

_  
Replaying the scene in his mind, he remembered, she had given him and out and like an idiot he had taken it. He'd torn her life apart once before, and here he was almost five years later doing it again. She didn't deserve to be treated that way.

"You promised me. You promised me that you would never hurt me again. You came back, you told me how much you loved me, and you asked me to marry you…_**you**_ did that, Alec. I'm your wife! Does that mean anything to you? If you felt so trapped, why the hell did you marry me in the first place?" Asha yelled.

"I married you because you were pregnant!" Alec yelled back in frustration. The second those words left his mouth, he wished he could suck them back in or somehow turn back time. He didn't mean it, but it was already too late. The force of his words literally knocked her back, weakened her knees, and made her flop down on the couch. "That's…I didn't mean that like it sounds. When I ran, I had nothing but time to think, and the only thing I kept thinking about was how awful it was for to not have parents, and for you to have only one. I didn't want my child to have to go through that…I wanted him to have two parents who loved him. That's why I came back, and that's why I asked you to marry me," he explained.

"Not once in that little explanation did you ever say you loved me," Asha said.

"What? Asha, you know I do. I love you so much I…" he started.

"Get out," she whispered, interrupting him.

"What?" he asked, confused.

"Get the fuck out of my house, Alec," Asha said, eerily calm. He started to say something else until she looked at him. Her eyes…her eyes were so…well, he couldn't explain it but he thought it would be in his best interest to do what she said. She could be very intimidating when she needed to be. As he closed the door, his enhanced hearing picked up on the sound of her breaking down and sobbing. He wanted to run back in there, hold her in his arms, and tell her it would be ok…but he couldn't do that. It would be a lie. He knew he had really screwed up this time…he just hoped that they could somehow find a way through it.

TBC…


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note**: Sorry this chapter is so short, but I felt the need to focus on what Alec was thinking and feeling in this one.

* * *

Alec had been wandering around the city aimlessly for hours. He just couldn't wrap his mind around what happened. That wasn't the way it was supposed to work out. He was supposed to end it with Amber and Asha was never supposed to know…their lives were supposed to go on like nothing had ever happened. But Asha found out and it had broken her heart…and here he was, out on the street because she kicked him out of their apartment. Her eyes, the look on her face, the sound of her voice when she told him to get out…it was still haunting him. He didn't know where to go. Max obviously knew, and if she knew Logan knew. He couldn't crash with either of them, so he turned to the only person who was on his side. 

"What are you doing here man? Shouldn't you be with your wife?" Sketchy asked, a little shocked. Alec was the last person he'd expected to see gracing his door. He normally spent Sunday with Asha and Gabe.

"Yeah, but we had a little fight…mind if I crash here for a few days?" Alec asked.

"No problem, dude…mi casa es su casa. The sofa's all yours," Sketchy replied. Sketchy disappeared to the kitchen, while Alec tossed his bag on the floor and flopped down on the sofa. It was a good thing he kept a bag full of clothes and other necessities in his locker at Jam Pony or else he would have really been screwed. There was no telling what Asha would have done if she laid eyes on him again tonight.

"So, what happened?" Sketchy asked, flopping down beside Alec and handing him a beer.

Alec sighed, he didn't really want to talk about it but he knew he would be the talk of Jam Pony come Monday morning so he might as well let Sketchy in on the secret now. "Max and OC took Asha to the club last night…she saw me with Amber," Alec said, taking a swig of his beer.

"But Asha knows you hang out with me there. Why would she get mad about that?" Sketchy asked.

"She saw me kissing Amber…she knows I cheated on her," Alec replied.

"Whoa, dude. I knew you and Amber were kind of tight, but I had no idea you were hooking up like that," Sketchy said. He was clearly shocked. "What the hell is wrong with you? Why would you cheat on your wife with a stripper?"

Alec looked at him incredulously. If anyone was going to be on his side, he was sure it would have been Sketchy. "I thought you of all people would understand," Alec replied.

"You have this woman at home who's the mother of your son, happens to be insanely gorgeous, and intelligent, and she reserves her body for your eyes only…and you cheat on her with a stripper? Nobody would understand that," Sketchy replied. It was an uncharacteristically rational reply…and it made Alec feel even more like an idiot.

"I really fucked up this time, I know. I don't think she's ever going to forgive me for this one," Alec said.

"Should she? Listen man, I'm not trying to beat you down here…but you threw away something great, and for what?" Sketchy asked.

"I don't know. I just looked around at my life and suddenly I felt trapped. I had a wife and a kid and I was a different man…maybe a man I wasn't meant to be yet," Alec replied.

"I get the sentiment, but I would kill to have just a little of what you had. You could do a lot worse than being trapped with a beautiful woman and a son. You are a different man, but if you ask me that man is better than the asshole womanizer you were before Asha came along," Sketchy said.

"This from a guy who chases anything with two legs and no penis?" Alec said sarcastically.

"Hey, I was just giving you my honest opinion. Asha's a special woman…the kind worth fighting for. I'm not going to give you anymore shit about it; you'll get enough of that from Max and OC. You screwed up and you know that already…if there's any way I can help you out, I'm here," Sketchy said. He downed the rest of his beer then headed off to bed.

A reality check from Sketchy…who would have ever thought that could happen? But he was right and Alec knew it. Asha was definitely worth fighting for, and here he was letting her slip through his fingers. Maybe he just didn't deserve her…she definitely deserved better than him. She hadn't done anything to warrant him cheating on her and he didn't even know why he had done it. He downed the rest of his beer and lay down on Sketchy's lumpy, uncomfortable sofa. There would be no sleeping for him that night anyway…and for the first time in years, no Asha in his arms.

TBC…


	7. Chapter 7

As Alec reached the top of the Space Needle, he came to the realization that the most miserable two weeks of his life were about to hit an all time low. He had gone up to get some time to think and clear his head…but now all hopes of having the place to himself were dashed.

"Get the hell out of here, Alec," Max said harshly.

"You don't own the Space Needle, Max. I'm not holding you hostage; if you have a problem with me being here you can leave," Alec said. He sat down beside her cautiously, being careful to keep a little distance between them. She was glaring at him like she wanted to push him off the building and he didn't trust her to control that urge.

"How…how is she?" he asked softly.

"How do you think she is?" she said in disbelief, "She's heartbroken because of your stupidity. God, you're such an idiot. What the hell is wrong with you? You…"

"Since when did you and Asha become best friends?" He asked, tired of being berated by his own sister.

"Since you left her pregnant and alone for seven months with no one to turn to! I pulled my head out of my own ass long enough to see that she wasn't after Logan; she loved you too much. She had a rough time with the pregnancy, someone had to be there for her…I stepped up," Max replied. Alec buried his head in his hands, ashamed of what he had done. Max actually felt a little sorry for him…emphasis on a little.

"Seriously Alec, cheating on her? What the hell were you thinking?" she asked, calmer now.

"I don't know…I felt trapped! I was barely out of Manticore for six months before Asha and I started hooking up, then five months after that she's telling me she's pregnant. A few months ago it just all hit me. I was hanging out with Sketchy and seeing all the freedom he has…bringing home different women all the time, having no one to answer to…I just realized what I was missing out on," he replied.

"Sketchy? You think you're missing out on something by not being able to live Sketchy's life? Sketchy goes home to a cold empty bed every night, while you had a warm body to curl up against. Sure, he doesn't have anyone to answer to or anyone to be concerned about other than himself…but he doesn't have anyone to be concerned _about _him either," she said. "He's out there searching for what you already had. So don't give me that bullshit about feeling trapped and missing out…I want the truth."

"That is the truth," Alec replied simply.

"Wow, Manticore really did a number on you didn't it? All that money to try and build brave super soldiers…sure, we're fearless in a battle, but put us out there to face real life and we're a bunch of cowards," she replied.

"Max, what the hell are you talking about?" he asked.

"You. You cheated on Asha for the same reason you walked out on her all those years ago. You're scared," she replied.

"I'm not scared of anything," he replied angrily.

"She thinks you don't love her you know," Max stated.

"What? That's crazy, she knows I love her," he replied.

"Then why did you tell her you married her because she was pregnant?" she asked.

"Because I did! That whole seven months I was away, all I could think about was my son asking where daddy was one day, or feeling like I left because of him. I wanted to be there for my son, so I came back and asked her to marry me. It wasn't about love then, but I did fall in love with her later…and I do love her now," he said.

"Wow, you're so screwed up you're buying your own bullshit. You cheated on her for the same reason you ran back then. You're scared…scared of the fact that you loved her from the start, scared because you actually care about someone else more than yourself. So rather than facing it and just owning up to your feelings, you do something to destroy it. Only you've gone too far this time; you've burned the bridge…you can't just show up with a ring and an 'I love you' and expect her to welcome you with open arms this time. You know what, I'm going to get off your back…knowing that you've lost her forever should be punishment enough," Max said, and with that she got up and left.

Alec wanted to come up with some retort to throw at her but in his heart he knew she was right. He was yet again pushing Asha away because she scared him…not by her physical presence, but because of the affect she had on him. She had this power over him that made him want to do anything to put a smile on her face…yet he'd still managed to hurt her. He was suddenly filled with rage. If Manticore hadn't already burned down he would have set fire to it himself. They had raised him to think that love was weakness and caring about others was nothing more than a liability. It didn't even exist anymore but it was still ruining his life.

Max was lucky. She had gotten out of Manticore long ago. She had time to live, time to learn what the real world was all about…time to learn that love is not the enemy. Asha always told him that he and Gabe were her heart and soul. The void he was currently feeling made him realize, for the first time, that they were his heart and soul too.

It had only been two weeks but he already missed her. He missed the weight of her body on top of his, missed her smile, the sound of her laughter, the feel of her skin, her breath tickling his neck as she slept curled around him…but most of all he missed watching her with Gabe. Gabe, he missed him as much as he missed Asha. He wondered how his son was dealing with him not being there. Like clockwork, early every Saturday morning, Gabe would come bounding into their room and jump into bed between them…but now there was only Asha there for him to wake.

The more he thought about what was happening, the more he felt like the walls were caving in. His world was falling apart…and the fact that Asha was probably feeling this bad or even worse didn't make things any easier. He was furious with himself for doing something so stupid, for putting her through this, and for breaking up his family. He jumped up and stalked over to the door leading to the stairway up to the Space Needle and punched it as hard as he could…knocking it off its hinges. He screamed at the top of his lungs; not because it had hurt, but because he was just that frustrated. Somehow, some way, they had to get through this…otherwise he didn't know if he could survive.

TBC…


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's Note**: Thanks to everyone for the reviews…and special thanks to suenooneus for taking the time to review after every update. Knowing someone is reading regularly really drives me to make this as good as I possibly can. Sorry about this chapter being so short, but it needed to stand alone as a lead-in for what's going to happen in the next chapter.

* * *

Clouds of steam wafted from the bathroom as Asha opened the door. She stepped out into her bedroom and the shock of moving from the warm bathroom air into the drafty bedroom made her shiver. As she sat on the edge of the bed to finish toweling off she caught sight of herself in the full-length mirror that was attached to the closet door. 

Not quite believing or liking what she saw, she walked over to it so she could get a better look at herself. She stood there taking in her naked form…staring at the slightly disturbing changes that had appeared within the last month. She had always been a thin woman, but never to such a degree. Now her ribs were clearly visible, the usually delicate dip in her clavicle was now harsh and sharply delineated, and her skin was an unhealthily pasty.

This wasn't the body she had been so proud of just over a month ago. She wasn't cocky by any means, but she had a healthy level of self-confidence…she knew she was pretty easy on the eyes. For the first time in her life she was second guessing herself. She almost didn't recognize her reflection. This person was lacking the womanly curves she had grown to love after her gawky pre-teen phase. This person didn't have the supple, peach tinted skin that Alec couldn't seem to keep his hands or mouth off of.

Alec…he was the reason for all of this. He sure knew how to shatter a woman's self-esteem. Maybe this was why he cheated…maybe she hadn't been enough for him; maybe her breasts weren't big enough; maybe her legs were too skinny. She hated him, she hated him for what he had done…she hated him for making her think it was somehow her fault. She was a rational woman, she knew better…but love didn't follow rational rules, and rational thought wasn't giving her any answers. She hated him because she couldn't stop loving him, and that was the most irrational thing in the world.

Her eyes burned with the tears that threatened to spill down her cheeks yet again. An almost inhuman sob spilled from deep in her gut and she barely realized where it was coming from. She felt like the walls were caving in, the world was ending; her heart was being shoved through a meat grinder. Anger was her favorite emotion these days, and that was what drove her to stalk over to her nightstand and grab an antique silver plated brush, the only piece of her mother she had other than a few pictures. Turning once again to face the mirror, she hurled it as hard as she could…smashing the mirror into hundreds of pieces.

For a fleeting second she thought about picking up one of those pieces and plunging it as far into her wrist as it would go, but the thought of the little boy sleeping just down the hall pushed that right out of her mind. She angrily swiped at her tears. She couldn't fall apart, she had to pull herself together…if not for herself then definitely for Gabe. She pulled back the covers and crawled into bed; she could clean up the broken mirror in the morning. Clicking off the bedside lamp, she let the darkness envelope her and hoped that tonight would be the night that sleep finally came back to her.

Across town, Max was pacing around Logan's living room. She was deeply worried about Asha; she hadn't been herself since that night at the club. She couldn't help but chuckle a bit at the thought of how much things had changed in five years. Five years ago she and Asha wouldn't be giving each other a second thought. Five years ago, pieces of Asha's broken heart would have been stuck to the bottom of her boot.

Over the years they both realized they had a lot more in common than they originally thought, and their snap judgments about each other had been wrong. Now Asha was as much a part of her family as her X5 siblings or Original Cindy…so she felt the same obligation to have her back. It was an awkward situation to be in…trapped between Alec and Asha, a woman who had become like a sister to her and her brother. Max felt some sense of loyalty to Alec because of where they came from, but as a woman she had to be on Asha's side in this.

"Come on Logan, there has to be something we can do, you've known her a lot longer than I have," Max said.

"It's not our place to interfere, Max. This is between her and Alec," Logan replied simply.

"It's bee over a month and she's just falling deeper into the whole. She does what she needs to do for Gabe, but she's not taking care of herself. All she does is lie in bed and cry. She's not sleeping, she's damn sure not eating…and she has lost at least ten pounds her skinny ass couldn't afford to lose. I had to practically force food down her throat yesterday," Max replied.

Logan nodded thoughtfully and quietly contemplated what Max had said. Asha was one of his oldest friends…little sister to his best friend. He remembered a promise he had made to her brother. He promised him that if for any reason he wasn't around, he would take care of his little sister for him as if she were his own. One side of him was telling him not to meddle in her marital problems, but the other side of him wanted to act as a big brother should and kick Alec's ass for what he was putting her through. She was obviously hurting and that didn't sit well with him at all.

Logan unexpectedly powered up his laptop and began typing frantically. He hadn't said a word, but Max knew that inspiration must have hit. "Got something?" Max asked.

"Yeah, I have an idea…and if this doesn't bring Asha out of her funk nothing will," he replied.

"So…are you going to tell me what it is or what?" Max asked.

"Sorry but it's a surprise, and I know you'd tell Asha. You'll find out if and when it arrives," Logan said with a wink. Logan hoped that his plan would work…if it didn't he had a feeling they would be forced to just sit back and watch Asha and Alec both self-destruct.

TBC…


	9. Chapter 9

Author's Note: This chapter is longer than usual because there was a lot of ground that needed to be covered…plus I needed to make up for how annoyingly short the last chapter was. So here it is…enjoy!

**Authors Note** (5/18/05): Sorry about the lack of a new chapter, but I'm having a little fight with writer's block right now. I thought I'd add this little note just in case anyone is anxiously awaiting a new chaapter (ha! yeah right). I didn't want you to think I've abandoned this. I love this story, it's possibly my favorite fic I've written to date and I know exactly where I want this to go. I expect a lot from this story, so I don't want to rush it and have it be anything less than my best effort...so I'm going to take a step back from this for a while and finish up another story I've been dragging out for way to long. Hopefully, inspiration will strike soon...and if I have my way you'll find that it was well worth the wait.

* * *

He waited across the street, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible. It wasn't hard in a city like Seattle, especially in this post-pulse world…freaks and geeks were out in droves 24/7 and nobody paid attention anymore. He had been roaming around all day waiting for her to show up, and she finally appeared promptly at four o'clock. There was a little boy with her. He wondered who the kid was for a brief second, but the kid wasn't his mission…she was. It had taken him days to track her to this general vicinity, and the last step was to figure out exactly where she lived. So as she disappeared through the door of the dilapidated building, he ran across the street so he wouldn't lose visual contact. He knew he was risking getting too close and being discovered, but there was no way in hell he was going to wait around all day tomorrow. 

She took the stairs. As he took in his surroundings he couldn't blame her…the elevator was probably a death trap. She was obviously off her game. He was following a little too close for comfort, only a flight and a half behind her, and she hadn't even taken a glance back. When she got to the third floor she veered off down the hallway, and he followed as closely as possible without looking suspicious. He pretended to be visiting a nearby apartment as she pulled out her keys and disappeared to a door at the far end of the hall. That was the final piece of information, now he had everything he needed. Now wasn't the time to make his move though. It was broad daylight, well, what passes for broad daylight in Seattle…he needed the cover of darkness for what he had in mind.

At first Asha thought she was dreaming, but then she realized her eyes were open. There was noise coming from the living room…it sounded like someone was sneaking out of the window. As she rubbed her eyes and tried to clear the cobwebs from her brain she realized there was someone sneaking **_in_ **the window. Gabe couldn't reach the windows and he knew better anyway…and Alec would have just used his key if he wanted to come in, but she hadn't seen him in nearly two months. With her mind finally clear she retrieved her recently acquired Sig Sauer .380 from the top of the closet. She glanced at the alarm clock on night table on Alec's side of the bed…6:39; that meant Gabe was safely tucked away in his room watching his favorite show, oblivious to anything going on around him.

Asha tiptoed over to her closed bedroom door and pressed her ear to it so she could listen and get an idea of where the culprit was. She sighed as she released the safety and chambered a round. She hadn't lost her zeal for firearms but her motherly instincts overrode her passion and she had given up keeping them in the house after Gabe was born. It was a little disheartening to think about why she had broken her own rule. When Alec was around and they were a happy little family, she felt safe without deadly weapons. He was a genetically engineered walking weapon…you couldn't get much safer than that, and he was all the protection they needed. Now that he was gone, she was a woman alone in a dangerous city with a small child…she needed some dependable security. At the moment she was glad that her work with the S1W forced her to keep her skills in tact and her aim dead on.

As she prepared to open the door, she found herself being more pissed off about the offender waking her from the best sleep she'd had in weeks than she was about them breaking into her home. Then she mentally smacked herself for being concerned about sleep when she was about to possibly turn her son into a motherless child. She crept out of the room and hugged the wall as she made her way down the hall toward the source of the disturbance. When she reached the living room she caught sight of a tall man in a leather biker jacket, distressed jeans, a black skullcap, and black combat boots. He was facing the fireplace, so his back was to her. If she hadn't been so fully focused on the task at hand, she would have noticed that he was looking at the family pictures gracing the mantle and could have subsequently surmised that this wasn't your typical break-in.

"Make one move and I'll blow your brains out now and worry about the cleaning bill later," Asha said as she snuck up behind the man and held her gun to his head. The man jumped slightly, obviously startled.

"Whoa there monster, it's just me," he said.

"Monster? How the fu…Christian?" Asha asked. The voice sounded familiar, and no one else called her "monster"…but it couldn't be, could it? She jerked the man around so she could see his face and her gun dropped to the floor right along with her chin.

"Who else would call you monster, kid? I see you still have that itchy trigger finger," he asked, dazzling her with an all too familiar, but sorely missed grin.

Asha was stunned…she couldn't believe it. Christian Barlow, her big brother…a man she hadn't seen in almost seven years and whom she thought she'd never see again was there in the flesh, standing right before her eyes. He couldn't help but laugh as he saw the gamut of emotions playing out on her face. Finally after about five minutes of just standing there in shock staring at him she mustered a reaction. She screamed and threw herself into his eagerly awaiting arms. Her arms were so tight around his neck that she was practically choking him, but despite that he picked her up and swung her around in circles with ease…and the room erupted with joyful laughter. She still smelled of lavender and honey. He put her down and they finally stepped back from each other.

"You're as gorgeous as ever baby girl," he said. She really hadn't changed much physically in seven years, other than her hair being a lot longer. When he had last seen her, her wavy blonde hair was short and tousled, now it hung a couple of inches past her shoulders. He couldn't quite place it, but there was something unsettling about the way her eyes looked.

"You scared the shit out of me!" she yelled, punching him in the arm. "What the hell are you doing here anyway? And why the fuck are you breaking into my house instead of using the door?" Before Chris could answer the questions, Gabe appeared and tugged at Asha's pant leg.

"Well I don't need to ask whom he belongs to," Christian said, as he stared at the boy who bore such an uncanny resemblance to his sister at that age.

"Mommy, why are you yelling bad words? Who's that man?" Gabe asked, looking up at Asha with wide, curious eyes.

"Hey, kid," Asha said, scooping her son up so that he was closer to eye level with the uncle he didn't know. "I'm sorry for yelling bad words, but I was excited. There's someone special I want you to meet. Remember I told you all about my brother Christian? Well, this man is my big brother. Gabe, I'd like you to meet your uncle Christian Barlow. Chris, this is your nephew Gabriel Alexander McDowell." Chris watched as the boy looked at his mother curiously for a minute, obviously processing what she told him.

"Hi Uncle Chris!" Gabe said finally, flashing Chris the most brilliant smile and reaching out to give him a hug. Chris immediately took his nephew into his arms for the first time, relieved to see that the boy immediately accepted him.

"Hi, Gabe, it's nice to finally meet you," Chris replied with a laugh.

"Do you want to come see my robots, Uncle Chris? We can make them fight!" Gabe said excitedly as Chris set him back down on his feet. Chris looked at Asha as if to ask her if it was ok.

"I need to get started on dinner anyway, you can keep him busy for me," Asha said.

"Come on Uncle Chris!" Gabe said as he grabbed Chris' hand and started tugging him down the hall toward his room. Asha couldn't help but smile…it was great to finally get to see her brother and her son together. She retrieved the gun she had kicked under the sofa when Gabe came in, unchambered the round, and tucked it away in the top of her closet before getting started with dinner.

Asha was still tired and didn't feel like cooking anything too complicated, but seeing her brother for the first time in seven years warranted something a little more special than sandwiches. She finally decided on spaghetti and garlic bread since it was quick and fairly uncomplicated. They didn't have much of a chance to catch up during dinner because Gabe was so excited about having a new uncle that he wouldn't let Asha get a word in. After dinner, Asha supervised while Gabe did his homework. After his homework was done, it was time for him to go to bed. Chris stood in the doorway of Gabe's room and watched Asha put him to bed…he still couldn't quite grasp the idea of his little sister being a mother, but from what he had seen she was an amazing one.

While Asha went off to take a shower and change into something more comfortable, Chris took it upon himself to wash the dishes and clean up the kitchen. He was done before Asha even got out of the shower, so he had nothing else to do except take in his surroundings. The apartment was a lot better than what you would expect from looking at the outside of the building. It was colorful and open, with lots of little personal touches. The furniture was worn, but still in good condition…it felt like a home. He couldn't help but shake his head as he saw the bookshelf that took up practically the entire wall opposite him. She was such a nerd.

He picked up a photo album that was sitting on the coffee table in front of him and began to flip through it. The first one in the book was a picture of Asha holding Gabe shortly after she had given birth. There was a man sitting beside her who Chris guessed was the father. That same man was in many more pictures throughout the book, and also in the pictures on the mantle. In several of the pictures he noticed a modest diamond ring on Asha's left hand. She was married, so where was her husband now?

Suddenly a Guinness appeared in front of his face. Asha had finished her shower and slipped into the kitchen without him even noticing. She was still as sneaky as she was as a teenager. Throwing her long legs over the back of the sofa, she plopped down beside him with her own beer in hand. She was wearing grey track pants that were folded over at the waist, and a white tank top…and her wet hair was pulled back into a ponytail. That familiar lavender and honey scent was strong. They both sat silently for a few minutes, sipping their beers.

"Motherhood looks good on you, kid. So this is your husband?" Chris asked, pointing out a picture in the photo album and finally breaking the comfortable silence.

"Yeah, that's Alec…Gabe's father," she replied. Chris quirked an eyebrow at the sudden tension in her shoulders but he didn't push the subject.

"What are you doing here, Chris?" Asha asked. "You're supposed to be in hiding; this can't be safe."

Seven years before, Chris had been in charge of the S1W. Under his command they had managed to take down some essential members of the Damani Clan, the largest crime family in San Francisco. However, Chris had underestimated their manpower and resources and he was soon the target of a hit. His informants got word to him, giving him time to run. He left the group and went underground and no one had seen or heard from him since. Chris' disappearance left the entire S1W as targets…but Asha was an especially valuable one since she was the one person who could possibly bring Chris back. Facing death threats, kidnapping, and the loss of her brother prompted Asha to seek a change of scenery…and that's when she hooked up with their old friend Logan and relocated the group to Seattle.

"I was working at this crappy little garage in Middle of Nowhere, Iowa and last week some guy came in and handed me an envelope. Inside there was a slip of paper that said 'she needs you' and 'Seattle, Washington'…so here I am," Chris replied.

"I'm going to kill Logan! You shouldn't be here, you could get killed!" Asha yelled.

"Whoa, calm down. I'm not in any danger. The Damani Clan imploded almost three years ago. I didn't try to find you or contact you just to be on the safe side…and I didn't want to just show up and disrupt your life," he said.

"Wait, so Logan has known where you were all this time and he didn't tell me? I didn't know if you were alive or dead!" she said, visibly upset.

"He didn't know any more than you did. We haven't been in contact because I didn't want anyone tracking you through him, but he knew that he could get a message to me through the informant net somehow if it was a real emergency. He had no idea that the Damani Clan had given up on me, and he wouldn't have risked it unless it was absolutely necessary…which brings me to my first question. What's going on? Why do you need me?" he asked.

"I can't believe Logan did that. There's no emergency. I'm so sorry he just dragged you out of your life for nothing," she said.

"Who do you think you're fooling with that? Asha, I practically raised you…do you really think I didn't notice you tense up when I mentioned your husband? Or that those crystal blues aren't so crystal right now? No more worrying about the life I left behind, I'm a former Cali surfer boy; I wasn't cut out for cornfields and square dancing anyway. Now spill it, kid," Chris replied.

"Fine," Asha said, heaving a heavy sigh. He was right…she never could hide anything from him. "I might as well just come straight out with it then, but I need you to know the whole story."

She started from the beginning by telling him about Manticore and how she and Alec met. Chris already knew a little about it because news still trickled down to him through the S1W informant net, and he had seen the Eyes Only broadcasts. She told him about the "casual arrangement" she and Alec had, and about getting pregnant with Gabe…and about how Alec took off for seven months before coming to his senses and asking her to marry him. The closer she got to the subject of his cheating, the harder it became to talk. She chugged the remaining half of her beer then told him about the cheating and the inevitable blow-up in one very long run-on sentence.

"So let me get this straight…this guy used you for sex, got you pregnant, ran out on you, came back and played happy family for a while until he got tired of it, then cheated on you with a stripper?" he said, not quite believing the absurdity of it all.

"There's one more thing. That morning before I caught him in the club, he convinced me that we should start trying to have another baby. He had never mentioned it before that day…now that I think about it he was probably just trying to use it to as a bargaining chip so I wouldn't be so quick to leave him if I ever found out about the cheating," Asha said.

"So…leaving a pregnant woman alone to fend for herself, cheating on your wife, and trying to get your wife pregnant to save your own ass. Give me one good reason why I shouldn't hunt this guy down and snap his neck right now," Chris said. He was positively seething. Who did this Alec guy think he was hurting his sister like that? Manticore soldier or not, brotherly love carried a strength that could rival anything.

"You shouldn't kill him because I want to do it myself, and because he's a great father even though he has turned out to be a sucky husband," she began. "I'm not ready to be a single mother…I don't want to be one. I don't want to have to tell my son lies when he asks where daddy is. And as stupid as it is, and after all he's put me through…I still love him, Chris." Resting her elbows on her knees, Asha buried her face in her hands. She felt like such an idiot, and she was sure her brother thought she was one. She looked up at him as she felt him scoot closer to her and begin to rub her back in soothing circles…the same way he did whenever she wasn't feeling well as a kid. The comforting gesture slowly began to melt some of the tension away.

"What if I'm pregnant again? I'm really late and…I--I can't do this alone. I can't raise two children on my own," she said with a shaky voice and tears in her eyes. He knew that look well. She wanted him to give her the answer…but he didn't have it this time, so instead he did the only thing he could.

"You're not alone, and you won't be no matter what happens. I'm here for you. I'm not going anywhere," he said, pulling her into a hug.

Poor kid, abandonment and betrayal were all she had ever known…and he couldn't help but feel bad for contributing to it. Their mother left them, their father didn't care about anyone other than himself, he had to leave her because he put his political agenda first, and now her husband had betrayed her. He just held her and let her cry on his shoulder until there were no more tears left. She pulled away from him and tried unsuccessfully to stifle a yawn. He glanced at his watch and saw that it almost midnight. He knew that she didn't sleep well when she was stressed.

"You're exhausted, you should go to bed," he said, realizing that he had probably roused her from a nap when he broke into the apartment. She started to protest, but he stopped her. He knew what she was afraid of…she was afraid that he would leave again. "I'll be right here on this nice comfy couch when you wake up. You can't get rid of me that easily, Barlow."

"Ok, I guess I am pretty tired…and it's Mrs. McDowell to you. There are extra blankets in the linen closet down the hall. Goodnight, Bubba…I love you," she said, standing and stretching her legs.

"Love you too…now get your ass to bed," he replied, laughing at her nickname for him. When she was a baby she couldn't pronounce brother, so she called him "bubba" and the name stuck. She smacked him in the back of the head and quickly darted down the hall and shut her door.

He retrieved the blankets from the linen closet and settled down on the sofa. His mind was still reeling from the days events…meeting his nephew for the first time, finding out his sister's life was falling apart…hell, having to finally come out of the denial stage and accept the fact that his little sister was having sex and apparently lots of it. He shuddered at that last thought…deep down he knew she had lost her virginity when she was 17, but no brother liked to think of his little sister as anything other than chaste. She had a four-year-old son now…he had missed so much of her life and he hadn't been there when she needed him the most. He mentally kicked himself. She needed him now, and he had a lot to make up for. As he drifted off to sleep he made a silent promise not to let anything stop him this time. Nothing was going to stop him from making sure she held it together and had a little happiness in her life again.

TBC…


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's Note**: So sorry for the long wait between updates, but life and writer's block were holding me hostage. I hope there's still someone out there interested in this thing and I'll try my hardest not to take so long with the next chapter. I should be wrapping this thing up in 2-3 more chapters. Well, enjoy.

* * *

"So Ash, you still haven't told us what this little celebration is about," Max said as she, Logan, Asha, and Asha's brother Christian sat at the small table in Crash.

"We're celebrating my negative pregnancy test, my brother being back in my life, and me having a good time on my anniversary even though my marriage is falling apart," Asha replied, with a twinge of bitterness in her voice.

Asha, Christian, Logan, and Max had been in Crash for the past hour having a fun night out amongst friends. Max and Logan were just happy to see Asha smiling and laughing again. Logan's idea had worked perfectly. Chris had only been in town for a few days, but his presence was already lifting her spirits greatly. She had a little of that sparkle back in her eyes. The three old friends tried their best not to leave Max out, but it had been so long since they had all been together…they couldn't help but reminisce and relive the old days. Max didn't mind though, it was fun hearing about a side of Logan and Asha she had never had the chance to experience.

"How did you guys meet?" Max said.

"Oh, Christian and Asha were my neighbors. We all grew up together. Chris and I have been best friends since before we could talk," Logan replied.

"Yeah, so when Asha and I decided to ditch the hellhole we crashed in Logan's pool house for a few weeks until I got a job and a place for us to say," Chris finished. "We're out of happy juice; I'm going to get another pitcher of beer. Asha, I'll get another vodka and cranberry for you. Max, what's your poison?"

"Just beer for me, thanks," Max answered.

Logan kissed Max on the cheek and went to help Chris with the drink orders, leaving the girls alone. Asha scanned the room, hoping in the back of her mind that Alec would be there. It was their anniversary, a day they had never been apart on. As hurt and angry as she was over what he'd done, he still held a special place in her heart. The hint of sadness that had suddenly appeared in Asha's eyes didn't go unnoticed by Max. For the life of her she couldn't understand why, but she knew the blonde was thinking about her estranged husband.

"Where's Gabe tonight?" Max asked in an attempt to lighten the mood.

"Joshua's over at my place babysitting. I thought it would be good for him to be able to get out of the house, and Gabe loves being around the big guy," Asha said.

"Those two alone together? I hope you're in the mood to clean up tomorrow," Max said.

Max couldn't help but laugh at the horrified look on Asha's face, and Asha began to laugh with her. She realized she had made a grave miscalculation. Joshua was the sweetest guy in the world, but he was like an overgrown child. She'd have to remember to be careful of booby traps when she got home. She wasn't in the mood to break her neck. By the time the laughter died down, the guys had arrived with the drinks.

"Here you are, milady," Chris said, handing Asha her drink while Logan poured the beer. Before Asha could say thank you, Original Cindy popped up with a friend and things got a whole lot more interesting.

"Good to see you out and about, boo," she said to Asha, "and who's this tall, fine drink of water with you. He's enough to make me think you straight girls are on to something."

"Original Cindy, meet my big brother Christian," Asha replied. However, her mind was really on the person OC brought with her…Janine. They locked eyes and Asha opened her mouth to explain and apologize but Janine silenced her before she could get the first word out. She shook her head, letting Asha know that everything was fine…she understood. "Chris, these are our friends Original Cindy and Janine."

After the introductions were done, OC and Janine joined the party. They ended up drinking, laughing, dancing, and playing pool well into the night. Christian was a charismatic guy and easily got along with everyone as if they had all been old pals. Asha could have sworn there was a little something happening between her brother and Janine…then again it could have just been the alcohol making her see things. Late into the night things had started to wind down. Somehow the subject of motorcycles had come up, and when Max found out Chris rode a Ducati Monster it was like kindred spirits had found each other at last. While he and Max took off to race, OC and Janine decided to do some club hopping, so that left Logan and Asha alone in Crash.

"I'm fine, Logan," Asha said with a long sigh.

"What? I didn't say anything," he replied.

"No, but I could see the question written all over your face. I'm dealing, ok?" she said with a yawn.

"Ok, I admit it, I was going to ask…but can you blame me for being worried? I know how devastating the end of a marriage can be, I've gone through it remember? It was hard for me and I didn't even have any children. You have Gabe, and I know Alec was bringing in most of the cash flow…you know if you need anything just say the word and it's yours," he said.

"I know, and I both love you and want to strangle you for offering me money," she said with a smile as she stood and went over to give him a kiss on the cheek. "Hey, there is one thing you could do for me now…"

"What's that?" he asked.

"Give me a ride home? That brother of mine left me stranded," she replied. Logan smiled and helped Asha with her coat, then throwing one arm around her shoulders he ushered her out of the club.

An hour later Asha had sent Joshua home, stripped down to her panties and tank top, and was just starting to drift off when she heard someone in the house. She knew it wasn't Christian, he didn't have a key and he had already informed her that he wouldn't be back until the next day. Her heart began to race as she realized it could only be one person…Alec. At first she felt nervous, scared…but it soon morphed into anger. He had some nerve coming there after what he'd done. She jumped out of bed, her head a swirling mix of thoughts and sleepiness. Before she knew it she was at the end of the hallway, watching him as he placed a small white envelope on the kitchen table.

Alec had accomplished what he came for and he had just turned to make his way out when he froze. There she was, standing at the end of the hall in nothing but her panties and tank. She looked sleepy, dazed, pissed…beautiful. This was exactly what he had hoped to avoid and he kicked himself for being too distracted to sense her coming.

"What the hell are you doing?" she asked, arms folded across her chest. Her voice was low but her tone was deliberate.

"I just came to leave that," he said sheepishly, pointing to the envelope he'd left. "I'll get out of your hair now."

He started to beat a hasty retreat but before he could get there Asha had managed to get to the envelope and take a peek at the contents.

"Here, you can take this with you. I don't need your money," she said, storming over and shoving the envelope in his face.

"Keep it. I know the rent is coming up and…" he started.

"That isn't your problem anymore, I said I don't need your money," she replied, cutting him off.

"This isn't even about you. Rent is due, Gabe's birthday is coming up, and I want my son to have a nice party as well as a place to live so just take the damn money Asha," he said. She was so damn frustrating when she was being stubborn.

"Oh, so you actually remember you have a son? Gee, I was starting to think you forgot seeing as you haven't bothered to even come see him in two months…then when you finally show up you sneak in when you know he's already asleep," she spat.

Alec's hands clenched at his sides. He didn't want to do this with her; he should have just slipped the damn envelope under the door.

"How am I supposed to see my son when his mother can't stand the sight of me?" he said, a little louder than he had planned.

"I have every right to feel the way I do about you, but you know damn well I'd never keep you away from your son, you ass!" she yelled. She hadn't intended to yell, but she was hurt…hurt by what he'd done, hurt that he thought so little of her, hurt that the mere sight of him brought out the worst in her.

The both stood there, breathing deeply and trying to calm themselves. They were both tired. Neither had really slept well since they split, and neither of them had the energy for arguing.

"You're his father; you can see Gabe anytime you want, Alec. Let Max know the time and the place…I'll drop him off or she came come get him whenever you want," she said quietly.

"Asha, I…I um…" he started. He wanted to tell her he was sorry, wanted to tell her how much he loved her but he couldn't. "Thanks." It was the only thing he could muster before turning to head out the door.

"Thanks for the cash…and…um…stop by Gabe's birthday party, I know he'd love to see you," she said.

"Wouldn't miss it for the world…goodnight," he said, just before the door shut. Suddenly Alec felt like his legs were no longer functional and he slid down the wall beside the door. He definitely hadn't been prepared for seeing her. Now more than ever he regretted what he'd done. It was a huge mistake, one she would probably never forgive him for. As reality started to set in and an ache started to settle in his chest, he felt something wet splash against his hand. It took him a second to realize what it was because it was something he couldn't remember ever experiencing before…he was crying. He took a few moments to pull himself together before getting up, and he left that building resolved to do whatever it takes to win her back.

While Alec was in the hall, Asha had gone back to bed. As she lay there restless with thoughts of Alec swimming in her head she knew there would be no sleep for her that night. She hated him for what he'd done, how he'd betrayed her…but somewhere in the corner of one of the shattered pieces of her heart she still loved him. Tears stung her eyes as the image of him making love to another woman popped into her head. Love was supposed to be able to conquer all, but this…love might have finally met its match.

TBC…


	11. Chapter 11

**Author's note**: Sincere apologies for the long wait. That darn writers block just pops up on you at the most inconvenient times. So...I don't necessarily like the way this chapter turned out, so I may be revising it in the future...comments and ideas on how I could improve it are welcome as always. I hope those of you who are still reading have enjoyed things so far and I plan on wrapping this up in the next chapter. Enjoy!

* * *

Asha could do nothing but sigh as the barista handed her a bouquet of stargazer lilies with her coffee. She knew what Alec was trying to do, and if it had been under any other circumstances she would have thought the gesture sweet and romantic. What he'd done had cut her to the core, and not even dozens of her favorite flower could heal the wound. She thanked the young girl and headed out. Today wasn't the day to worry about Alec or what he was up to, today was the day to have fun with her son and her brother. She had promised to take Gabe to the arcade today, and he was waiting for her outside the coffee shop with Chris.

"Letting your inner Valley Girl shine today?" Chris said as he eyed her whipped cream and caramel laden coffee drink. Asha rolled her eyes at him and grabbed her son's hand but said nothing. He was trying to bait her and she knew it.

"Like, oh my God Asha…this non-fat soy caramel latte is like, sooooo good!" Chris said, in his best Valley Girl tone as he grabbed Gabe's other hand.

"I hate you," Asha said, trying her best to sound threatening but failing to hide her grin.

"So seriously, what's with the flowers?" he asked as they headed off to the arcade with Gabe swinging between them.

"Do you even have to ask? He's up to something, I just haven't figured out what it is yet" she replied.

Chris could hear the tension in her voice so he decided to change the subject. She had spent too much time being upset over Alec and he didn't want to contribute to it. As the conversation moved to lighter subjects, Chris couldn't help but think about what it would be like when he finally met this guy who had managed to get under his sister's skin so much he wielded the power to make her and break her. Little did he know that meeting would take place sooner than he expected.

Alec thought it was fate that he would see Asha at the very moment he was thinking about her. He couldn't see her face, but he didn't need to. He could recognize her anywhere…even from 50 yards away as he was sitting at a red light. He could pick her out of a crowd of a million tall, thin, blondes because he knew every inch of her. He saw his wife and son immediately, but it took him a minute to register the man holding his son's other hand. He was tall, thin but muscular, with shoulder length curly blonde hair that was a lot like Asha's.

Alec couldn't believe his eyes. In his logical mind he knew that she had every right to move on after what he'd done, but logic wasn't his strong point at the moment. He was pissed enough about her being with another man, but to see her have another man around Gabe was what really pushed him over the edge. As the traffic light changed to green, he saw the man put Gabe up on his shoulders and kiss Asha on the cheek. Alec couldn't take it anymore and took off at a breakneck speed. He was weaving through traffic and blowing through sector checkpoints with what he had just seen weighing heavily on his mind.

Asha…his Asha, the love of his life was out cavorting with another man, with their son in tow. Was she trying to replace him? Was she trying to hurt him as much as he had hurt her? For the first time since they'd met, he felt a strong urge to harm her, he was overwhelmed by hate for her and he didn't like that feeling at all. This was the woman he promised to love, cherish, and protect…and if he had been paying attention to what he was doing instead of thinking about her, he would have seen the truck that was turning across his path. By the time he saw it, it was too late for him to do anything except hold on tight and hope for the best.

He felt like he had dug his way out of his own grave as the harsh fluorescent light flooded his eyes. He knew where he was, he just couldn't remember why he was there…that is until the pain started to hit him. His whole body hurt and the liquid dripping from the IV felt like fire in his veins. As he reached for the bedside call button his fingertips encountered something silky, soft, and completely out of place for this cold, sterile environment…but it was something he recognized immediately, something he had spent countless night running his fingers through or nuzzling his nose in.

He looked over only to find Asha asleep in a chair with her head resting on the edge of his bed. Her legs were propped up on a second chair, thus creating the perfect cradle for their son to curl up in. His little boy…the perfect amalgamation of the two of them. Asha's deep blue eyes and dimples with his cocky smirk and strong jaw line. The kid would no doubt be a heartbreaker. He couldn't help but run his fingers through her hair…watching her sleep like that brought back memories of a happier time. She stirred and opened her eyes slowly. He could see the tear tracks on her face and for a moment he felt bad about putting her through this. Then he remembered what had gotten him here…and for the first time since they'd met he wished her harm. It was hypocritical and he knew he had no right to feel that way, but he did. She was his wife, the mother of his son, she was a part of him…and now she was connecting with another man. Another man was spending time with his wife and his son.

"You're awake," she whispered with a hint of relief in voice.

"You're the last person I expected to see here," he replied. He looked over at the clock, it was almost midnight. "He shouldn't be out this late, he should be in bed."

"His father is in the hospital, I think that warrants an exception to his bedtime. You know your son; he's as stubborn as you and I. I tried to send him home hours ago but he refused to leave unless he saw that you were ok," she said, hoarsely.

"Well, I'm fine. He can go now…and so can you," Alec replied.

Asha was anything but slow and she didn't miss the callousness in his voice. They had never argued in front of their son and she wasn't about to start now. She shook Gabe gently to wake him.

"Daddy?" he said sleepily as he rubbed his eyes.

"Hey buddy, come here," Alec said, wincing as he reached over to scoop up his son. He hugged him tightly despite the pain, and kissed the top of his head. "I heard you were worried about me." Gabe just nodded his confirmation. "Well I'm fine…a little sore, but I'll be ok. Don't give your mother anymore trouble, you do what she says, ok?"

"Ok daddy, I love you," Gabe replied, throwing his arms around his father's neck.

"I love you too, kid," Alec replied.

"Gabe honey, go outside with Aunt Max and Uncle Logan, they'll take you home and get you to bed. I'll be home in a little while," Asha said as she stood and tried to stretch her aching muscles. Gabe ran over to give her a hug and a kiss before skipping out of the room. Asha calmly reclaimed her seat beside Alec's bed, but her eyes were shooting daggers at him. She didn't know what the hell his attitude was about but she was sure going to find out.

"Plan on telling me what the attitude is about?" she said after sitting in silence and glaring at him for several minutes.

"You should know," Alec replied coldly.

"Alec, I'm exhausted and sore from sitting in this chair for hours. I'm not in the mood for any of your bullshit. Now what is the problem?" she said.

"Why don't you ask your boyfriend!" he yelled, wincing as he instantly regretted the change in intensity.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Asha replied, quickly losing her patience.

"Stop playing dumb, Asha. I saw you going into the arcade with that tall blonde guy," he started, "I know I hurt you, and I was wrong…but I never thought you would use my son to get to me. That's really fucked up."

"Wait…a tall blonde guy? That's my brother you jerk!" she yelled, instantly furious with him. "I can't believe you! How dare you judge me after what you've done? You were out fucking another woman while I sat at home thinking we were still the happy couple! Unlike you, I have respect for our vows…it's my respect for you that's wavering."

Alec could do nothing but stare at her, wide-eyed and open-mouthed as she finished and stormed out of the room…gasping for words that wouldn't come. He felt like the fool he was. He had promised himself he would win her back…well; he was certainly off to a rocky start. He could make out the faint sound of her sniffling as she made her way down the hall and he would have kicked himself if it was physically possible. No matter how hard he tried he couldn't seem to stop hurting her.

He sighed heavily as he leaned back against the pillows and closed his eyes. Before he could get comfortable, someone else entered the room. It wasn't Asha; the footsteps were too heavy for someone of her build. He reluctantly opened his eyes only to find the object of his jealousy sitting next to his bed. Now that he had a closer look, he could definitely see the family resemblance...and he also knew he didn't want to have the conversation that was sure to follow.

"If you've come to give me the obligatory 'I'll kill you for hurting my baby sister out of unconditional brotherly love' speech, I'd advise you to save it…you have no idea who you're dealing with," Alec said tersely. As usual his mouth had run ahead of his brain. Upon second thought, he knew he should have been more courteous to the man who had enough pull with Asha to make or break his plans to get her back.

"If you're planning to give me the requisite 'I'm a Manticore super soldier so you should cower and shake in your boots in my presence' speech, I'd advise you to save it…I know exactly who I'm dealing with, and there's no amount of genetic engineering in the world that could save you from me if I thought you'd done that woman even the slightest bit of physical harm," Chris replied frostily. "Now are we done with the pleasantries?"

"Absolutely" Alec replied with a slightly more cordial tone.

"Good, because I've come here for two reasons…the first one being to meet the brother-in-law I never knew I had, and the second being to impart some wisdom on you if I deem you worthy," Chris said. Alec nodded and waited for Chris to continue. "You're an idiot for what you did to her, and it'll be a long while before I feel anything but disdain for you…but any man who would nearly kill himself just because he saw her walking with another man must love her as much as she loves him. Despite that angel face of hers, I know better than anyone that my sister isn't perfect. She's holds a grudge longer than anyone else I know, and she'll bat those baby blues and play you like a fiddle if it means she'll get her way…but she's also the most loyal and caring person I know. She'll put her life on the line for the people she loves and she'll give her last dime to a complete stranger in need. Look man, I'm telling you this because I've been where you are. I know what it's like to lose the best thing that ever happened to you…by the time I realized it, it was too late to get her back. More importantly, I'm telling you this because I love Asha more than anything in this world and I've never seen her so broken. If you're the key to putting her back together again, I'm going to do whatever I can to make that happen. If you love her half as much as I think you do, fight for her. Fight for her harder than you've ever fought for anything else in your life."

There was nothing more to say so Chris decided to leave Alec to his thoughts. By the look on Asha's face when she left the room, he knew his shoulder was needed elsewhere. They were on their own now; if the were really meant to be they'd work it out somehow. He didn't care much for Alec, but for both their sakes, he hoped they were meant to be…otherwise they were both going to self-destruct.

TBC…


End file.
